With recent world events, it’s okay to feel emotional. Taking the time to reflect on your feelings, understand them, and share them in a safe space is part of the human experience of personal growth. To help and support you through fear, anxiety, anger, and grief, we gathered our doctors’ answers to questions about handling these emotions:
1. How can I deal with fear and anxiety?
Clinical psychologist Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli says, “Most fears are based on an actual experience that is extended mistakenly into the present and future. Try to identify the origin of your fear and get help working out this stress so that you don’t carry it forward.” Psychiatrist Dr. Edmund Cavazos says first steps include eliminating caffeine and alcohol; minimizing stress; trying meditation, relaxation techniques, and biofeedback; and lastly identifying the underlying reasons for your anxiety through therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy.
For a more in-depth approach, Dr. Heidi Fowler, a psychiatrist, says, “Start with a medical evaluation. It may uncover underlying medical problems that need to be addressed. Seeing a therapist for cognitive behavioral therapy can be quite effective. Aim for daily exercise, 8 hours of sleep per night, and good nutrition with 5 servings of veggies and 4 of fruit per day. Try tai chi, yoga, qi gong, progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing exercises, and meditation.”
Clinical psychologist Dr. Ana Adelstein recommends looking for “Psychotherapy that goes beyond the line ‘tell me how you feel about that.'” You really do need someone with training and expertise in treatment of anxiety problems and disorders. It’s vital to understand what anxiety is, how it ticks, and what specific things can help if anxiety starts interfering with your ability to function and with your ability to form and keep relationships.”
2. Is there a healthy way for me to deal with my anger?
Yes, there’s always a healthy way to deal with your anger. Dr. Fowler says this one simple tip—counting to 10 before acting on the urge to impulsively hurt someone physically or emotionally—can help. Reduce anger by deep breathing. Breath in deeply and slowly through the nostrils. Hold air in lungs for a five-count before slowly exhaling through an open mouth. Repeatuntil you cool your jets. Focus on your breathing, not what is making you angry. Cognitive behavioral therapy is excellent for dealing with anger problems. Getting physical through aerobic activity is an excellent way to help keep anger in check. There are more serene ways to do it—including tai chi, qi gong, acupuncture, massage, and meditation. Avoid drugs and don’t look to alcohol as a solution.
3. How do I deal with loss and grief?
The important thing to note with loss and grief is to seek support and avoid isolation. Psychiatrist Dr. Pamela Pappas says grieving is a time for support. Grief needs community in which to express and heal. This means friends, loved ones, grief support groups, and sometimes professional counseling/psychotherapy if grief gets “stuck.” Conflicted relationships with the deceased in life may lead to more difficult grief after death. It can help to share stories about the deceased with others who also knew him/her. Ceremonies can be healing too. Pediatric neurologist Dr. William Singer also recommends contacting local hospitals’ psychiatry departments for grief counseling and grief groups.
